Then and Now

"Cover up, Hands up, Hands side, Hands down. Stand at ease, Attention. Stand at ease, Attention." Yeah it drew my attention. The voice, seemingly to be of 10-12 years old boy coming through the window took me way back. The innocent voice trying to command the group had high pitch, which was a bit irritating cause his pitchness was further amplified by the microphone.

I was laying back at my bed, thinking and planning for my future but the voice, at once took me to my past. Though i never went to stage upfront and dare to command the group, it reminded me of those times, i tried skipping assembly hiding behind the doors. I was never alone in doing mischievous things. My better friends were always with me. Some hid in toilet, and some pretended to be sick and just sat bowing their head. When teacher asks “Why not in assembly?” “Sir, headache” was their reply.  We were always together in taking the punishment. We were always together in tasting the victory of bunking the assembly. We were always together in confronting others who went assembly regularly.

I never used to be attentive in classes. I had always good time singing in classes with friends. From my early childhood, I was inclined to music. Though i was never attentive in class, I used to secure first or second position in exams till class 6. My mother taught me every subjects at home, specially maths. So, it was only fun things, I did at school. I don't have brother or sister and may be that is the reason I enjoyed much with my friends.

Then, it was all good but now the responsibility and consciousness has multiplied.

Now, I have completed BE in Civil Engineering. I never stood first or second during the course, though I was juuuussst quiet attentive than I used to be at childhood. I have good friends but like me all friends have grown up too. There’s never that freedom and innocence in enjoyment. Maybe finishing bachelor is the worst time one have to face in life. Maybe that’s a part of growing up. You’re all in dilemma. Whether to look for job or continue your education to masters? Whether to stay in the country or go abroad that might offer better opportunities? Whether to do MBA or ME? GRE or GMAT? and many others…..

Staying chill is all I have learnt in my life. But this time, I am not being able to do so. The anxiety of not doing anything really kills. And, the anxiety of not doing anything in front of other people adds to it. Whenever you meet your relatives they always asks, “Son, what are you doing these days?” and it really pains to wonder, what to answer. Your lackadaisical attitude kills yourself. You really wish some wind of change blows and drift you to the right place and live a satissss life.

I really miss those childhood days, when the hardest decision used to be in choosing between a red or a blue color. But now, the answers are infinite and questions, very limited.