Recovery

There, she called sharp at 12 pm as discussed in the previous call, which couldn’t go well because my mother was around.

She asked me if I was serious on things I have told to my friend. I said yes and there you go. Same school and then high schools.

She was absolutely beautiful. Big eyes she got, which talked to me and reflected love and care. Her hair was messy but it looked sexy when it was wet, I liked the smell of it and I remember the times it

had brought happiness in me, whenever it had fallen on me, especially on my shoulders. She had pert nose and chubby body which she hated but how I wished only if she could see it from my small eyes, how perfect she was. All in all, I liked her personality that lighted the environment wherever she went.

Time flew by. She went abroad to continue her higher studies. Distance relationship was what we were on. A year went by and suddenly out of blue she texted me saying she was in love with other guy and the other day confronted me over skype how her feelings for me had gone away.

7 years long story, shortly ended.

Heartbreak, I felt for the first time.  It was absolutely devastating and earth shattering for me to realize how the one I felt was not the one.

It made me question myself. What did I lack? Where I went wrong? What is with this guy that I could not offer her in these years? Was she pretending all the way? Why did she not tell me before? Was there a second chance? 

There were many such questions that I had to struggle with though I could nowhere found any answers. But in process of conquering these questions, here are some stages that I went through, and would like to share, so that anyone dealing with heartbreak would find helpful.

 1. Mourn

Tragedy is hurting. Feel your tragedy. Let that feeling burst you into tears if that’s what you wanna do. Just don’t hold back. It’s absolutely necessary to get over it and mourning about your loss is the only way to do it until you get the feeling, “That’s it!! I’m done”.

But see, I did not mourn as I was supposed to. I did cry over skype with her, the feeling of which now makes me feel guilty. I tried connecting with intersection friends of her and mine to find if there was any other actual reason behind. I tried to know if she was in confusion or was it a firm cold decision, she took. I tried talking with her family as well. I overdosed on things I shouldn’t had, thinking it might numb my mind where thunderstorm of thoughts were bolting.

I don’t say you to be doing all these things. My saying will have very little influence. You will. Its all normal. But later after you get over it and look back, you’ll find it funny and helpless of actions you committed. 

      2. Be with Family and Friends

Most important thing, during this period is that you don’t wanna be alone. Have someone by yourside. Someone who is not fake and sincerely hopes that you will be stronger and help you in being so.

Reality is that none can comprehend your suffering. Even if the one who is backing you up, have had the feeling of heartbreak, but still he or she cannot exactly feel how you feel because every relationship is different. 

It’s you who gotta rise. They are there to be the wall if you need to lean on and its really nice to have someone with whom you can share everything meticulously. 

I too had a friend who was there for me. Though he was in Australia, he made calls just to check out my condition, if I was okay and all. It was because of his suggestions and talks that I could move on swiftly. Only few lucky, gets friends like him.

     3.  Go for Fun & Work on your passion

You being upset doesn’t end the fun things that are going around the world. It won’t wait for you.

Explore them. Drink good beer, chill. Hang around with friends and talk non-sense. Be crazy, laugh and let laugh. Bring out that jolly personality of yours around the people you meet. Soon, you’ll begin to find world beautiful once again which had turned black & white.

He/She might have left you alone but he/she can’t take away that passion which you’ve developed through your living experience.

Sing a song. Dance.

Learn some musical instrument. Drum, guitar, flute or any. Get lost in the melody of it rather than getting nowhere in melancholy.

Go to gym. Make dumbbell your girlfriend. You will grow better & stronger not only physically but emotionally as well.

Write. Dry your feelings out.

Read many books as possible. Stay educated.

Explore the world. It’s still f*king awesome, even if it has cruel people around and somewhere aroma of hell. Love nature and it sure does love you back.

Take pictures, selfie, wefie or any. Create new stories cause the old ones now ought to be closed and should be opened, only to learn from it.

Go to bungee, rafting, para-gliding or any. Get a free fall which is much more satisfying than falling in memories. Like one poet mentioned, memories are sweet but in your heart it’s only bitter.

     4. Recover

This is the best phase you will be in. Yes recovering from the trauma and being able to smile once again.

Of course there is a hole in your heart. But with that hole, you are only made stronger. You can handle any pressure, as you know pressure releases through a hole. It’s like, you are now impenetrable to pain. 

The best part of all, after your recovery, you will get to know that all the questions that you’ve been struggling with hadn’t made any sense. 

Heartbreak as painful it is comes with lessons. You will understand people, change, moments and life as a whole. You will get stronger and calm than ever. Despite of shivering confidence at beginning, once you get back on track you’ll be a force that’s unstoppable.